Candid Gems Press + Photo

It’s been awhile since I blogged because of a detour I’ve made in my professional work life. It’s been without regret however, because when it comes to work&life balance… these type of decisions are the easiest to make. Besides… I think I may have just entered a dream job. Which leads me to believe that God has me right where He wants me to be. I’ll let you know in about a couple weeks after my orientation, but that’s a whole other post all on it’s own.

With all my “free” time lately, I’ve been spending more time with the family. Initially, I was going to write a post similar to the letter below (credit to Baby Rabies). But because the administrative nurse in me believes in the phrase, “Work Smarter, Not Harder!“, I’ve decided to just share it as it is (with the children’s ages and genders altered) Besides… it pretty much sums up everything I wanted to say, if not better!

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Dear Me 20 Years From Now,

I wonder if you’ve become one of those women who briefly lingers around, a safe distance behind, young moms carting their babies and toddlers through the grocery store with that far-off look in your eyes. If you gently smile at the mom when she looks up and catches your glance, obviously frazzled by how challenging taking 2 kids grocery shopping is, as if to tell her it’s going to be okay. If you look at her and miss that time, want so badly to trade 5 minutes of the independence you have now that your kids are much older so that you can rest a toddler’s head on your shoulder, or buckle a baby in their car seat, mindful not to pinch any belly chub in the harness.

I have a feeling that you might be, and there are some things I want you to know, some things I’m willing you to remember.

I want you to remember that they were the hardest thing you’d ever done. They challenged you, and they kept you up at night. They pushed your buttons, and they were never, ever quiet… unless they were in trouble. I want you to remember that you loved them the hardest you’ve ever loved anything, from day one, and every day after that.

I want you to know that you were completely overwhelmed nearly all the time. The thought of taking them anywhere by yourself made you want to hide in bed all day. You were overwhelmed by the responsibility. You had NO clue what you were doing. You were overwhelmed by how much they trusted you and how much they needed you. You were overwhelmed by how much you needed and loved them.

I want you to remember how it felt to lay side by side next to your 2-year-old before she drifted off to sleep. How you talked face to face, nose to nose, about her day. How you told her you were excited to see how much she would grow by the morning, and how in the morning you’d lay in bed next to her and stretch her arms and legs out, exclaiming, “LOOK HOW MUCH YOU GREW LAST NIGHT!” How that put the biggest smile on her face.

I want you to remember what it felt like to hold your 10 month old on your lap, wrapping your arms around her and laying them on her bulging tummy. How the back of her head and the handful of baby curls at the nape of her neck felt and smelled when you rested your head atop hers.

I want you to know that you were acutely aware of how fast they were growing. Even though many days would pass in the blink of an eye, there would always be a moment when your world would snap to a halt, and you would look at them while they were doing something mundane and normal, and you would be painfully conscious that they were no longer the size they were last week, and that they would never be the size they are at that moment again.

I want you to know that you went to bed every night with one simple wish for the next day. To just do better.

Even though you were tired and challenged, exasperated and overwhelmed, you knew then that you would miss these days…most of them, at least. It was a truth that was hard to live with, and most of the time you ignored it because there was nothing you could do about the passing of time. If you spent your days mourning the ones that had gone by, you’d miss out on the days you were living in.

You knew you were on a light rail, moving at speeds you couldn’t comprehend. You had no control over the ride that brought you to where you are today, but believe me when I say you searched so very hard to find the emergency brake.

Please know, please remember that you tried to savor that time. Be at peace, knowing you spent late afternoons curled up with them on the couch, that sometimes you just sat and watched them move and run, that occasionally you took inventory of all the things they’d learned in the last week, and that you appreciated your time with them the best you knew how. Know that despite your very best efforts, there was no way to freeze time.

I promise you, you tried.

Love,
You

 

(again.. credit to Baby Rabies for this letter and saying it better than I could have!)

 

I’ve seen a couple variations of these around the internet…

Here’s mine (and yes, some are quite similar!)

YOU KNOW YOU’RE A MOM WHEN:

• Your idea of relaxation becomes a solo trip to Target.
• You wish there was a drive through for everything.
• Taking a shower becomes an announcement… and on that note: taking a shower longer than 8 minutes and shaving your legs becomes a commodity.
• you can relate your “magical moment” of breastfeeding to the mother pig laying asleep and nursing her piglets at the Orange County fair. Because let’s face it, being able to do the exact same thing when it’s 4 in the morning, (rather than getting up, prepping a bottle and having to feed it).. Now THAT’S magical.
• Speaking of magic.. you also know you’re a mom when sleeping in until 8am feels as magical as riding a unicorn.
• Continuing on…. You eat girl scout cookies in a dark pantry, just so you don’t have to share them with your toddler.
• The cartoon that once annoyed you suddenly becomes your guilty pleasure (Curse you, Phineas and Ferb!)
• On a day when you have no kids, you go to the one place where you can be kids: DISNEYLAND!

Regardless, it doesn’t matter how much life has changed in the last 2 and a half years because I wouldn’t trade this chapter in my life for anything else in the world. Before kids, I wondered how my heart could possibly love any more… and to my surprise, I only realized how incomplete it was.  To Mommy’s Gems, Jade & Pearl… you are my life’s greatest treasures.

“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” – Matthew 6:21